Friday, August 26, 2005
Some man fe get coof....
Hey JQ,
So here's the latest drama that comes along with being from a Jamaican family. So after we all (being all my bros and sis and they're badass kids) go to a baby shower for some 3rd cousin of mine, I ask for a drop home. Or at least to a near by train station. I end up going with "C" in the Escalade. So we're passing Pelham Bay and I ask to be dropped by the 6. He says that he hates driving around there because he gets lost. So he said he'd drop me off at the 4 or the 5. I relax because I think "Oh..ok...I can handle the 4, I'll take that to the D then transfer to the A. Cool."

I get dropped at the Gunn Hill Road stop of the 5 in the Bronx.

Now let me tell you : I have NEVER take the 5 past 14th Street in Manhatten. Then to make matters even better, the damn train was only running shuttle and it ended at the next stop. So I get off at 180th to wait for the 2 (another train that I'm not familiar with past 42nd) when I notice that besides myself, there are only two othe people on the platform. Two men who were looking kinda shady to me. Now I know you think I think I think all men are shady but these dudes were scary. So I do what any girl would do and leave the station to take a cab to another station not in East Tremont. That is if said had car fair...which I didn't. So I went back into the station and took the train to Pelham Bay (where I wanted to be anyway) and waited for the BX12. In the rain. At midnight. Alone. In front of a park. Needless to say I got home safe but I wouldn't have needed to go through all of that if " C" had taken me home or at least taken me to a station in a better neighborhood. I may be from the hood but my ass can't handle thugs not from BK. I know how to handle ENY dudes but the Bronx? Yo, I've seen Warriors too many times to take any chances out there.

Which leads us to this weekend pass. So why does my sis "J" wake me up on the phone asking me what time I was going to get there. I was not aware of any appointments. Turns out my latest niece was getting christened that day. As ususal no one felt the need to tell me. But I'm sorry. The psychic gene passed me and I need people to tell shit's happening. I tell "J" that I'm not busting my ass to get to BK for 5p when I know that I'm not getting out of that function until about 12 and then have to take an hour and a half ride back home. No way.

Of course now everyone is saying how messed up I am. Selfish. But ya know what. If it was so important for me to be there "C" would have called me instead of playing telephone. So I think "C" and I are doing the talking but not talking thing.
posted by Sharon Gail at 2:18 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Bored as hell....
Today is such a boring day I have truly nothing to blog about. I should be studying for my spreadsheet test. But here I am blogging like I have nothing better to do. I really need to be doing something. Nah...I continue to surf and talk to my *B*.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 5:05 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
The prince is a trip....
When I get home and the first thing the Prince wants to do is sit up in my lap and read me a story. I usually agree to this request. But last night he decides that he wants to stay awake because he wants to spend time with me. I let him know that it is past his bed time (I don't mind if he stays up till I get home but when I do, it is one story and then bed), he informed me that since he doesn't see me much anymore nor do we really spend time together I should let him stay up. Now if that didn't hurt me to the soul! I didn't even know what to say to him. It just broke my heart and nearly made me cry. I can't quit my jobs because I need the money and I can't have my growing prince feel like that. I just don't know what to do. This just ain't fair. I put all my shit on hold for others when their kids were younger. And now that I am looking for the same help it just ain't there. I am not expecting anyone to put their life on hold for me but damn just a little help. I have to figure something out. I want my little prince to see that women can work and support themselves but I dont want him to think that they have to give up family to do it. WOE IS ME!!!
posted by JamaicanQueen at 5:43 PM | Permalink | 12 comments
Monday, August 22, 2005
Calgon take me away....
Right now I need a vacation. I get one day off a week and I use it to; do Prince's hair, do my locs, clean my house, try to catch up on school work, do what little shopping for the house that I can, pay off the bill collectors that are burning their pitch forks for me, and still try to convince *L* that while I would love to see him I can't because I am too damn busy. I swear I think he is gonna start cheating on me if don't find an extra day in the week. School is wiping my ass! I don't think that 3.83 G.P.A. is gonna so go outthe window. But it won't go without a fight! I need to do some extra credit work but I really don't have the time. I need some time to wipe my ass twice when I shit. I remember days when I used to do that.

Now I just found out that a friend of mine is in the hospital. I am so worried about her. I had called her cell and it is NEVER off, so I called her home number her mom answered and told me that she was in the hospital. I all but demanded to know what happened to her like she was my child. I had to call her mother back and tell her sorry for my behavior. I really felt bad about the way I was just demanding to know, but when she told me I was surprised and I almost started crying but I was in public and didn't want strangers to see that. Hell I barely cry in front of people I know well. But that is another blog. It was just the shock of finding out like that. I am more hurt that no one in our group thought to call me and tell me anything. I guess we aren't as cool as I thought. Or should I say just not that cool with me. I am gonna call her any way and let her know I care.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 2:51 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Friday, August 19, 2005
Because of you...
My *Beloved* asked me to blog about our sex life. Well for the most part we really don't have much of one because I am always in school and work (both of them). I do have to say that when we do have sex it is an um...experience. I won't go into details because I have no desire to have women knocking on his door talking about me next. Because I tell you I will hit that bitch in the back of the head with a lead pipe. Now with that said hope he is happy. Yes *L* your shit is so good I will fight a bitch to keep her off my shit!
posted by JamaicanQueen at 3:07 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
I'll be working for the city...If I'm not in jail by then
I went to my interview for Corrections yesterday. If all goes well with my investigations and all that jazz I'll be starting the academy in Spring. I can't wait. I'll start off with 35 grand a year for the first 6 months and go up to damn near 75 grand after 5 years. I'm tingling at the thought. OH MAN!! And all that without over time. I'm so happy I could pee! Yes, I know that was a little disturbing but suck it up! I did' mean it literally. Right now I should be paying attention in class but um...NAH!! I am already averaging an A in this class, so why bother. I usually spend this time working on other classes and blogging.

The *Prince* is going back to school soon. Wow. I am starting to feel so old. The other morning and don't ya'll laugh at me, I was getting dressed to leave for work and he was still sleeping. The little boy said in his sleep " Yeah I'm attracted to you." I fell of the chair...literally! I was trying to put on my socks and fell on the floor. Had a knot to prove it! I am sooooo not ready! I called his father cussing! "What in the Hell do you have my son watching?!! I know you like porn but don't have his ass watching that yet! Who the hell do you have him around?!!!!" His father asked me if I was serious, and told me that when he picks him up from his babysitter he just takes him to Hapkido. They really don't have any time to watch tv. I am not ready...there are gonna be quite a few bald and blind little girl runing around. Cause I can't do it! *LAWRD* Where is that male birth control pill?? They were testing them. I wanna know how far they got! I'll be giving *Prince* them thangs like they are flinstone vitamins! I'm not playing! Shoot. I am not even looking forward to having a girl. Cause with her ass! She is getting the Norplant in her arm as soon as her ass hits 13! That way she can't get pregnant until she is 18 and in college!
posted by JamaicanQueen at 1:34 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Damn I found a termite in my happy home...
*Beloved don't be mad at me for posting this. And I love you anyway*

Sunday *L* and I were talking and he let it slip either by design or mistake that his father doesn't want him to really settle down with me. Now this took my breath away because it isn't like he and I were picking out china and a trio wedding ring set. But at the same time we have thought about it. But still. His father doesn't want him with me because I'm not Hispanic or white. Oh did I mention that *L* is Puerto Rican.*Little girl waving her hand in the back, "But Queen don't Puerto Ricans have some African in them? Well yes, little girl they do. Some just don't want to accept it.* Well, if I didn't there it is. His father would prefer him with a woman of that ethnicity. His father doesn't like black women because well he just doesn't like them and he says that everyone that he has dealt with has fucked him over at some point. So I guess he feels that I would be a good play toy for his son but I'm not good enough to be with him in a LTR. What hurts me deeply is that he and his father *H* both look Black.
Now had *L* not previously told me that he usually doesn't go for black women then I might not have felt *it was only for a second....Ok..Actually a day* inadequate. Then he told me that this kinda trickled down to him because he didn't normally find black women attractive. He usually preferred Asian women, white and the Hispanics. All of the above I am not. This hurt me deeply, not because I don't love who I am but because I was told by him and his father that they don't judge anyone. But his father did because I'm Black.
I then mentioned to him would it make a difference if I was Hispanic but still darker than him and he said his father still might not like it. Well finding that out didn't make me feel any better. Right now he is trying to show me that he doesn't care what his father thinks and if he decides to marry me or be with me longer than his father hopes or wants is none of *H*'s business. I guess the Queen will have to see.

The Queen will now retire...You may all leave.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 1:39 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Monday, August 15, 2005
This Post is for you *S* and the other triflin' Negroes!!!
Now on Saturday I had an outing with some people's to Hectcher *damnit I never said I could spell* Park. This is out in Long Island. Now I bring my cousin with me and I tell this heifa-cow that she needs to be at this meet up location in Brooklyn at 8:30 am. Why oh why does she not show up till 9:30. But even that wasn't bad. We waited on some other folks and they ass calling at 12 (why the fuck we waited, I don't know. But I do know that if my ass was driving even my people would have gotten left. Yes I mean you *S*) talking bout we on our way and they in Queens! Then they said well since we are going to Long Island we can pick them up on the way! HELL TO THE NAW!!!! *ahem* A little country just popped out right then. Unless your ass can catch up to a van moving at about 65 on the Belt Parkway, don't ask me to open the door. But I digress, my leave a motherfukkas ass was not driving. The point of this post is just this, if you know you have heads waiting on you to go up on time. Hell get there early. I can't understand that shit. Why is it some folks have no sense of time. I can't understand. All this damn technology that has the damn time and you got the damn nerve to show up late??!! WHYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I hate that shit! I hate to wait on a mother or father fukkas ass! That shit will fuck up my damn day something terrible.

*AHEM* That has been the Queen's PSA for the day.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 1:23 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Friday, August 12, 2005
Do you remember the other day when I was complaining about women walking around with their big ass pregnant bellies hanging out? Well the female in my class was just talking about how her clothes are hurting her damn stomach! BWAHAHAHAHA! It took all of me to not laugh in her damn face and tell her to get new clothes or raid someone's closet. Fuck a baby shower this chick needs a maternity clothes shopping spree.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 2:58 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Thursday, August 11, 2005
How do you know if you are IN LOVE???
Yes ya'll, the Queen has decided to give another blog to her *Beloved*.

As of late I have been giving much thought to that. I know that I love *L* and we were thinking about moving in together. We want to spend more time together and everything. He loves my son (he might not like him from time to time cause my little prince is a brat). And my son likes him well enough, I guess he feels no one is better than his daddy. *Lord if my son only knew* But I would love to know what makes something go from yeah we cool to damn babe I love you.

Let's start at the begining....*fog rolls in*....

I met *L* at our job last September. I had just broken up with my son's father and I was feeling hurt and betrayed. He wasn't paying me any mind and I could have cared less about him. But after a while I realized I can't walk aroung with my face dragging at work and at home so I perked up to the people at my job. And since I am a people person, everyone warmed up to me. Except his mean ass! Every day I would say hi and he would just thug mug me. I tried to talk to him and I got the *are you stupid* stare and a shrug. So I started poking him in the damn ribs. Yes I know this was annoying but it was the only way I could get his attention at this point. I would punctuate everything I said with a jab in the ribs. That and I always called him Beloved, never by his name. Now the Beloved thing wasn't on purpose I have nickname for everyone. But on him it just fit and I had never called anyone else that but with him he answered to it right away. Never even questioned it.
Now about this time he started getting annoyed with me poking him and he held me upside down by my ankle. Yes you read right, one ankle. *ahem..I am not a small female. I weigh a good 160.* But I let it go and so did he. He asked me if I would hang out with him and I said yeah. But it was me who actually asked for the first date.
After that we decided that we both didn't want anything serious and sex would be just what the doctor ordered. So fuck-buddies or friends-with-benefits just worked for us. I liked it and he liked it and we owed each other no obligations. But I guess feelings get caught up when sex is good or maybe we just wanted to be selfish and not take the chance of sharing. So we wound up together.

Now that you guys know the back story, as boring as it was, maybe some help can be given. I would love to know when you finally realize you are in love. When I was with my son's father I don't remember being this happy. I mean I did and do love him but not the way I love me some *L*. When I am not with *L* all I can think about is when I am gonna get my next fix of some him. It is serious, if I don't see him for a day or two I seriously get an attitude and damned if he doesn't too. I don't even see other men as options just petty annoyances that try to come between me and my love. And the best thing is it isn't even aboout sex anymore we just want to be around each other. I'll go to his job and just sit there while he works and he does the same for me. Right now, all I can think about is him and that is so wierd for me because I am sensitive and don't really tell people how I feel about them.
Maybe one of you guys has a clue that I don't.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 7:11 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Alan, don't leave anymore comments to my blog if they are not about my blog. If you havn't noticed I am a Queen. That is to infer that I am female, therefore have no damn prostate! I could care less about the conditions of one right now. In fact the only helpful information on prostates that one could give me is how to enlarge one in my son's father! *Karma, you fickle thing you, that was a joke* Now I am pissed off bcause I actually had to blog just for yo ass!
posted by JamaicanQueen at 9:20 AM | Permalink | 1 comments
Saturday, August 06, 2005
No it is not this country's independence. I am not that damn slow. It is Jamaica's. As you might have noticed...*ahem* I am Jamaican. Yes, yes. Yours truly is a yardie. While I might not speak patois on a regular basis, I still can. Speaking patois all the time will get you nothing but a lot of "What'd she say?" And I really hate to repeat myself. I am proudly showing off my colors today and I am so on the look out for anyone else who might be rocking their's.

Celebrate Jamaica Independence Day - Wear Yuh Colors on August 6th
Join Jamaicans all over the globe and show your support for Jamaica's Independence Day by wearing clothing/shoes with the colors of the Jamaican flag Green, Black and Gold (Yellow).

While I was running in to work on this fine Saturday morning, ( I was early for once) I ran into a friend I haven't seen since I was in high school. He has changed so much. I swear it is a visible change in him. He's married, has three kids (two are his by marriage) and he has found GOD. He is so different from the guy I used to know who used to go by the name "razor". Times have changed everyone I guess.

I guess running into him has made me wanna sit back for some reflection time. I'll do that after I make up my mind whether or not I wanna start working Sundays at the ole job. Hmmmm....working seven days a week??? But it is time and a half. I gotta weigh this out.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 8:43 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Friday, August 05, 2005
Happy Birthday Baby Sister
Happy Birthday *T*. Even though I tease you and tell you that you were found on the doorstep that Saturday 15 years ago. I really don't mean it. I love you and you are my favorite little sister even though I don't act like it.

There! That was the Queen's tribute to her little sister. I really need to stop telling her that we found her on the front step of the house. I don't even tell her that she was adopted. We didn't want her that much. We just were too lazy to take her to the police precinct or the orphanage. I guess I need to grow up. NAH!!! Maybe next year.

I was talking to my Beloved this morning and he was wondering if I gave him a segment. I guess I'll have to give him another. But for today I shall leave this one for my baby sister *T*.

I love ya, Monster.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 2:08 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Monday, August 01, 2005
Karma Has Arrived
I recently heard that someone, who I thought was a sister to me has had her world turned upside down. Her man cheated on her. Now she went and hurt me and fucked up my relationship and all this other jazz. And now her man cheated on her. Part of me wants to call her and laugh but the other part wants to say just fuck it. All I can say is Karma is a bitch and she comes when you are comfortable.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 12:31 PM | Permalink | 1 comments