Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Di Pickney Dash Out Mi Dayam Food!

The other day I was just feenin' for some hominy porridge. I don't exactly live in the neighborhood to get it with ease, so I went out of my way to get a bag of hominy corn. I just knew I was going to get to sit down one of these damn days and soak my corn. Then I was going to cook it with all the glee I could muster. You see I used to hate that stuff. My granny used to make it at least once a week. And every week it was a battle of wills. My granny's will for me not to waste her damn food and my will to not get my ass beat for throwing away her food. As I look back that was some tasty stuff! I guess my tastes have evolved since then. Now I fight with *Prince about food. Ya'll he didn't throw out my cooked porridge, oh no. See I was prepared for that one coming. The dayam foo-fool bwoy dash way mi uncook bag. Now to add insult to injury, it wasn't as if he threw the unopened bag in the garbage, he fed mi damn hominy to the birds!!! I was wondering why I had all these birds in the front of my damn house I didn't think anything of it until this morning when I went to soak my corn. I just wanted to cry. I would ask my granny to make it for me but she says she is too old to be cooking. That is so not true!!! Who cooks better than granny! Yes she has been feeding us (her children [6] and grandchildren [7]), but now she wont feed her two great grands! I remember my great granny cooking for me and my other cousins. *wails* I want mi porridge! And I can't ask my mother because she doesn't eat it so she wont make it.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 2:08 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
I'm a princess
I knew me being prissy would come in handy.

The Noble Princess

You are just and fair, a perfectionist with a
strong sense of proper decorum. You are very
attracted to chivalry, ceremony and dignity.
For the most part you are rather sensible, but
you are also very idealistic.

Role Models: Guinevere, Princess Fiona (of Shrek)

You are most likely to: Get kidnapped by a stray

What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
posted by JamaicanQueen at 2:44 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Friday, November 18, 2005
All right ya'll I'm gonna go off on a little tangent.

Ever since I was little, I would wait til the last minute to go the bathroom. I would literally wait til I had to hop on one leg to get there.

Now with that said flashback to the present.

I was running (alright I was speed walking cause my ass runs no where) to the bathroom yet again. I gotta do better cause I drink a lot of water. I make it in and everything is going well. There is tp in the bathroom, there are seat covers and I even hovered without getting any in my sock. *Don't ya'll act brand new!* I come out feeling like I can spell "relief" a whole new way. I go to wash my hands and there are women not washing their nasty ass hands. I was so disgusted. Not even a complimentary rinse, you know the one you do when there's no soap. But damn it there is soap! It is the nice kind too!

I work in NYPL. So I am constantly touching books that these same nasty ass people move around. That and they want to constantly touch you! EWWWWWWW!!!! I can't stand that shit! Please don't touch me! Matter of fact no please, just don't touch me. I don't like being touched be people I know. So for people I have no idea of where your hands have been. NO thank you!!


That has been my PSA of the day.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 4:23 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Next week Tuesday my son is going with his grandmother to SC. They are going away for a few days (like til Sunday) and for some strange reason I am not happy about it at all. It seems that every holiday she wants to take my son and run to her family's house down south. Now I am not saying this to be ungrateful as I do sometimes need the break off from him so I can do some work. But every holiday? I know some of you are saying "Queen, just tell the lady that you want your child with you on the holiday's". And I would had this been his father (her son) cause I don't really care what he thinks. But when I need help she is there, so it kinda is a little hard for me. Now don't get me wrong, I have found put from some other people we both know that when she does help me it sometimes comes with "side talk". But hey everything has its side effects. I guess if I want to keep my child with me I'll have to up and go somewhere else with him.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 3:02 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
My grandmother told me when I moved out of her house at 18, "Where ever you go, there you are." At first I just knew the old lady was losing her damn mind. I mean come on who the hell isn't where they are. I'm here, you are there... you get it? But I have come to realize that she meant that no matter how far I run, who I am and want to be will be there to meet me. In fact she will be there way before I get there. The attitude that I had last week will meet me this one. You can't just walk around with your face dragging and not expect the world to treat you accordingly.

Lately, I have been trying to clear all the negativity from my life and this has cost me a few people I thought were friends. But it isn't too much of a loss because they were only bringing me drama or someone else's. Now I will not say that this wasn't entertaining but still I needed to grow up and change. Besides, these people were not only bringing dirt but I am sure they were carrying it.

Because I have been cutting these loose threads, I have had people tell me that I now act as if I am better than they are. I don't think that I am any better than anyone else. I just hold myself to a higher degree. I have decided that since I swallowed so much "shit" from other people, that I would no longer accept it from anyone else again.

I have realized something, the only way someone can stab you in the back is if you are in front of them.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 11:23 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Fuck the World...
This post is cause I'm mad as hell. Shit is just going wrong and my usually happy ass just don't like it.

1. Fuck Bloomberg: That SOB needs to get the hell out of office. I swear anyone but him. I would have voted for a butt-fucking monkey before I voted for his ass.

2. Fuck my parents: My mother for not getting her shit together. And my father for having a damn gang of kids and not wanting to take care of us, but goes out and get a foster kid.

3. Fuck my brother: For getting a new apartment and inviting me to his house warming and making me stress about what to get his ass! I aint got no damn gwap!!! And his ass is expensive!

4. Fuck *Beloved: Yesterday we got into an argument. We'll probably get over our first real fight but it still hurts.

5. Fuck my older sister *Red: I'm hating on her car right now. This bitch is riding around in style and I'm riding the "iron horse".

6. Fuck blogger: Cause for the past few days I haven't been able to really access anyone else's blogs. And it is starting to get on my nerves.

7. Fuck *BklynNative: She knows how she got on my damn nerves. I have enough on my plate than to have people tell me how I should live my life! I know I fucked my own shit up. Let me fix it!

8. Fuck blogger again: cause they don't have any new templates, and I have no idea where to get new ones. I want to change my site damn it and I wanna do it now. *But note how I continue to use their shit any way!*

9. Fuck my English teacher: How the fuck are you teaching me English when you barely speak it? I am going to sleep in your class because I'm bored bitch! Step up you game! I know what the hell a noun is and how to make the bitch plural! Ex. Bitch, bitches

10. Fuck *Dammitman: Just cause he's an asshole. I swear he acts like the sun just rises and sets on his ass! He forgets that I was with his ass when all he had was the shit in his ass!

11. Fuck my job: Cause they are not paying me for the holidays coming up! It isn't my fault these are holidays. I want my money. I would come in to work. That and I'm under paid!

12. Fuck my son's school: They are trying to raise the damn tuition again! I can't afford this shit! *see 11*

13. Fuck Victoria's Secret and Fredrick's of Hollywood: For not having my damn bra size! Like my size is that hard to damn make!!!

14. Fuck Hall's: For not making a cough drop that actually works.

15. Fuck the patron I got at work: Asking me if I know where the blue fuck satan's web site is! Do I look like I fucking know?! Just cause I look evil today don't mean I am! Fuck that cud-chewing heifa!
posted by JamaicanQueen at 3:40 PM | Permalink | 8 comments
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Is this LOVE that I'm feeling....
When we met I was bitter and angry with my situations from my son's father to my job. You weren't much better, you didn't want to work at the job, you were (kinda still are) anti-social, and the guys at the job thought you were gay. Not that you acted that way (how do you really act gay...Unless you are flaming) but you weren't interested in any females around you.

At first you paid me no mind and I ignored you too, but then I realized that I had to work with you and if my home life can't be pleasant my work environment should be. I got tired of the mean muggs you were throwing me, so to get your attention I started poking you in the ribs. Yes it was annoying but it was effective. I also changed your name from what it was to Beloved. To me it just fit you better than the one you had. It just felt right. Obviously it felt that way to you because you never batted an eyelash when I started calling you that, you would just answer me and go about your day. After awhile the poking must have gotten on your last nerve cause you picked me up by my ankle. I guess that'll be one to tell the kids.

I told you I liked you before everyone and their grandmother could tell you, well before *GayJay (he told us to call him that) and *Dazed&Confused (she's my girl and a bag of pearls but..) could tell you. I guess you were flattered. I thought you were cute, I think when I told you blushed. I haven't seen you do it since so I don't know for sure. When we started hanging out we agreed that it would only be as an arrangement to ease so tension, and it worked that way. I guess we got a little attached..That's cool though because I didn't mind.

Since we've been together you have put up with the craziest of situations. From *Dammintman to the Prince to my ever changing school schedule. And I thank you for that. *Beloved I promise you that one day, if you just wait it out it will all be worth it. I'm going through all of this because I want to make myself a better person. Which will make me a better person for you. Just ride with me through this.

You've asked before why I love you and I know why I guess I'm just embarrassed about sharing that with you. And I know it seems weird to be able to tell you through a blog that millions of people can read. I don't know why it is easier to tell strangers than it is to tell the one person who matters.

I love you because you are supportive of me, not just because you want some thing from me but because you are genuinely interested. I love you because you are the first person I can really be myself with, I don't feel like if I have a bad day I have to hide it from you. In short, I don't have to wear a mask when we are together. I can laugh, cry (I have yet to do that with you yet) or even have an emotional outburst and not have you think any less of me. I love you because when I'm with you I can tell you anything about myself or my family and not have you think I'm a freak. And that is not in a good way I'm talking. I love you because despite what you think you *Prince actually likes you. And that is so important to me.

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ALLOW ME TO BE..And I am the happiest with you than I have been in a very long time.
posted by JamaicanQueen at 2:02 PM | Permalink | 3 comments