Thursday, August 24, 2006
How to eat sugar cane...
Do you remember reading the book "The Women of Brewster Place?" Well in the beginning of the book, Butch was telling Mattie Michael how to eat sugar cane. He basically told her that when you are eating it you have to chew it just long enough. Well it was more like he was telling her that she had to know when to stop chewing so she wouldn't end up with a mouthful of straw that does nothing more than irritate the roof of your mouth. He told her that she would have to stop chewing just before all the flavor was gone, right when you know that the last bite is gonna be the sweetest and it almost eludes you.

The purpose of this entry is not to talk about sugar cane. It is meant to make me and any other readers know when to let go. The above was only to make you think about how hard you try to hold on to something that is no longer working. Sometimes you work so hard at trying to keep something going because you think it makes sense but it really is just causing pain in the long run.

I have been giving a lot of thought to the way I have been holding on to things in my life that have been hurting or at least showing that they are going to start hurting me and I have been trying to figure out how I could change myself so that it wouldn't. I have come to realize that I need to stop worrying about making myself change to fit when no one and nothing is going to change to fit me.

I have to stop thinking about how I want things to work out when it will never be that way. I would like for everything to be rosy in my life but it is just not gonna happen. I would like for things to go smoothly but it doesn't work that way. I have held on the things and people in my life that have done nothing more than hurt my feelings continuously and damn it, it is my fault. I allow these people to stay and affect me.

I am seeing for the first time in a while that I let others determine my mood and that isn't right. Yesterday, *Beloved told me that I haven't been to same in about three weeks and I didn't even notice. I have been letting my internship, school, work, my son's father, my lack of success at finding another job, and lack of sleep get to me. I guess I do have a full plate but me walking around with it showing on my face isn't gonna stop it. All I can do it let go and let GOD.
 
posted by JamaicanQueen at 2:26 PM | Permalink |


4 Comments:


  • At Friday, August 25, 2006 6:17:00 AM, Blogger Gela's Words

    Yes Queen life isn't easy, I'm sure you saw my post where I commented that life is a pendulum. I'm sure things will get better, just be patient and don't lose focus.

     
  • At Friday, August 25, 2006 9:47:00 AM, Blogger chele

    It's hard to let go sometimes. But for our own well being we have to. Learn to put YOU first.

     
  • At Friday, August 25, 2006 5:33:00 PM, Blogger Zeus

    I find getting sleep, sexual gratification and giving something get's me back to me. They're not all in order and either are or aren't related. Hope it helps!
    Zeus

     
  • At Saturday, September 02, 2006 2:26:00 AM, Blogger Ananda

    the letting go frees us. it is our gift to ourselves. thanks for sharing. discovered your post through a sista's post from laurel, md. cannot remember her name, but she is in school, working, parenting, and keeping it real. i love her blog. peace, ananda